SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY

by: George Gordon (Lord) Byron (1788-1824)

SHE walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

 

Anti-Valentines from Australia

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss.
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.*

(* "Pissed" is Australian for drunk, not "angry" as used in the US.)

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I thought that I could love no other.
Until, that is, I met your brother.

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Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

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Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

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Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.

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I want to feel your sweet embrace.
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

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I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

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My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

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I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

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My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

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My feelings for you no words can tell.
Except for maybe "go to hell".

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What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.